I

For each question choose which one answer is correct:

1. The Mind and Body are:

a)      Inseparable

b)      Made of different kinds of slime

c)      Connected by USB

2. The Human Mind uses an Operating System which :

a)      Usually responds to turning off and on again

b)      Was initially rejected by Steve Jobs

c)      Is essentially adapted from the Chimpanzee

3. Who will not come to your rescue?

a)      DIY SOS

b)      The A Team

c)      David Miliband

d

4. Where did the sickman go, after disappearing from medical cosmology?

a)      Costa Coffee

b)      Became conceptualised as a cell complex

c)      Outside, having a fag

5. Suitable scenarios for a Truth And Reconciliation Commission include:

a)      Desmond Tutu’s kitchen

b)      Nigella Lawson’s kitchen

c)      Pussy Riot’s charity gig at the Kremlin

6. Examples of Word Inflation include:

a)      Management Speak

b)      Cognitive Therapy

c)      Dan Brown Omnibus Edition

 

7. The following has proven antidepressant effects:

a)      Aerobics

b)      Chairobics

c)      Blairobics

8. What has happened to Ashleigh and Pudsy?

a)      They are hiding from animal rights activists

b)      Creative differences between them led to a bitter legal dispute

c)      Panto season

9. Which of these problems is not a cosmetics range?

a)      Opium

b)      Obsession

c)      Paedophile

9. Which of these bands is an effective antidepressant?

a)      Primal Scream

b)      Placebo

c)      AC/DC

11.  Who should you send for if one of your brainwashed assassins goes berserk?

a)      Patrick Stewart as Eddie Roebuck

b)      Patrick Stewart as Dr Jonas

c)      Patrick Stewart as Macbeth

12.  Who bore the brunt of the Michael Jackson inquiry?

a)      Bubbles, for not seeming to care

b)      Paul McCartney, for insisting the girl was his

c)      Conrad Murray, for ticking the wrong boxes on his risk assessment forms

Merry Christmas dear reader!